F.A.Q!
What men ask me!
As a facilitator (the one who is holding space for you), I will not do what YOU don't want me to do. This mantra is the most used among tantra facilitators and teachers! To learn your boundaries, you need to explore, expand and reflect on them.
Sensual or Erotic Massage?! If it's your "first time", go for a sensual massage. And if there is energy and desire to go for more - I will keep that option open.
Why Erotic massage? Most of my patients are men in the relationship. They have a loving partner home, but they are coming here to take all the "masks" down and get what they are missing. Why put pressure on your partner if it can be taken away? A horny man or woman is a danger to their partners if they are not on the same page!
I think asking questions during the massage or erotic play - "Are you ok?!" is unprofessional. In the erotic journey, we enter a multi-dimensional space which connects us to our body, mind, emotions, feelings, spirit and many other subtle parts of ourselves. As a somatic bodyworker, I can read that something isn't right from how you breathe. We are very complex beings, and our bodies don't know how to tell a lie. Do not force yourself. Maybe all you need is a long hug to begin with!
Fantasy vs. Reality. Please ask me any questions related to the experience you are looking for or unsure about. You won't believe it, but the most common question is - "can you rape me?!" No, I don't and am not interested! Please educate yourself. When watching porn, look into the actors' eyes and notice their feelings. In most cases, models are faking or drugged. Just look very closely!
Playfulness. I encourage my patients (clients who come for the one-off session) to feel confident (or comfortable) with mutual or joint play. Adulthood is hard. So why not drop all that makes you an adult and get naked?
Fluids exchange/SAFETY. The hardest and the easiest at the same time subject to talk about. Most likely, I will do to you what I do to other men too! I do like kissing, giving and receiving oral. Rimming is also what I like a lot, but preparation is required on both sides.
There are many ways to have the best experience with minimal risk for you.
Trust! I have failed myself and the people around me many times and will fall again - I am aware of that. In failure, I learn and grow. And the same offering to my patients. Don't drive yourself mad - talk to somebody you trust, and don't allow rage to define you.
On your arrival as part of the consultation or arrival, please let me know if internal anal massage is part of your comfort zone. Often, in the "heat" or highly ecstatic moment, we forget about our boundaries. I am offering services which include genital stimulation as part of services with certain limitations.
Qualification I hold! Yoga and meditation instructor (monkey style), massage therapist (clinical side), masseur (naughty side), tantric & tao masseur (the multi-orgasmic experience), somatic sex educator and sexological bodyworker (understanding why we wank and don't, how to do it properly).
SEXUAL HEALTH SCREENING. I am doing my best, and having a golden membership with Dean Street Express helps. I do get checked six times per year every six weeks. Even if you have a regular partner - YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH SEXUAL HEALTH SCREENING AT LEAST ONCE A YEAR. I don't know what NHS or common sense is saying about it. If I get anything - I get it fixed.
MENTAL HEALTH SCREENING. Don't allow your rage and trauma(s) to define your behaviour and choices. Stigmata and homophobia are still around, and many men can't enjoy their sexual lives because of that.
Do I pay for sex or time with you? If you were looking for sex, you wouldn't choose me for my age, fitness level, no drug and no alcohol policy, no over-nights, no romantic relationships, and so on. If you are looking for sex - go to a sex club or dating app. Most likely, you will end up disappointed and regretting. Men are not coming to meet me for sex! And if that happens - it will be consensual and with pleasure! I use breathing techniques to stay aroused when needed, and I don't cum quickly!
Setting personal boundaries
Before you arrive, please think of the words below and what they mean to you. Do you understand meaning and difference? The following words are part of the consent questionnaire. Yes and No is what matters. It can be done in writing. Most of them are not in any way related to the meetings/treatments I offer. But I am being asked all possible questions. I used to get angry, but for now - I accept and try to do my best to stay safe and help other men make a choice based on their personal needs and life situation(s)!
Massage, climax, mutual play, mutual touch, happy ending, dry orgasm, edging, semen, prostate stimulation, pits, external anal, sensual & erotic play, bareback, poppers, drugs, breathwork, oral sex, anal sex, kissing, spitting, domination, submission, etc.
For example, you are a responsible person at home and work, but in your sex life, you want to do the opposite. You have an image of your ex or boss. We all need a safe place to find peace and harmony with ourselves. Mediating all the time like painkillers only hides the issue, lets the "monster" come to the surface, and welcomes it.